Needing to be used, abused and degraded

Lately, i have been feeling the strong need to experience some heavy, extended use, consensual non-consensual abuse and degradation.  i have actually been craving it.  i know i will hate it while its happening to me, and i'll wonder what i was thinking when consenting to be used and tortured for an extended period of time like this.  But i "need" it.

If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that my beautiful, sexy Wife and Queen can be very sadistic at times.  That is one of the many, many things that i love about her, because She can be mean and sadistic enough to satisfy my masochistic desires.  She "gets off" on my pain and suffering!  She can cum just by flogging me, or torturing my nipples to the point that i'm crying for mercy.  i am very thankful that she can cum very quickly from that, because sometimes the pain She inflicts on me is almost unbearable.   She is AWESOME!!! 

I recently found this pic (posted below) that turned me on immensely!  It is of a girl on her knees, hands cuffed behind her, ankles cuffed and her neck chained to an eyebolt in the floor.  There is something about this scenario that has me craving to be chained like this for hours...or even days. 

I feel like there is some inner calling that drives this need... Maybe something from a past life... Something my soul needs to experience.  I need to be used and abused throughout the day or days on a fairly regular basis.  I need to be subjected to torture and pain and suffering.  i need to be degraded and humiliated.  i need to be marked and bruised by the time it is over.  But what i need most is to know that my Queen is getting off on all of my suffering.  That is my ultimate goal and reward.

"On your back, slave!"

"On your back, slave!"  These are the words i LOVE to hear in the wee hours of the morning as i am awakened from my deep slumber by my beautiful and horny Queen!  i never get tired of hearing those words, as being used by my Queen is really what i live for!  i love rolling onto my back at Her command, as She crawls on top of me and pins me under Her.  i instinctively raise my arms above my head as if my wrists were chained to the headboard, not moving them without asking permission, keeping them there in invisible bondage, and as an act of total submission. 

As my Queen mounts me and begins to ride me, She usually grabs my nipples and uses them as reins, pulling on them, jerking them, twisting them and pinching them harder and more violently as She brings Herself closer to cumming.  As the pain intensifies for me because of Her delight in using my piercings to torture my nipples more and more, i begin to cry out in agony.  This brings on Her orgasm very quickly, as She really gets off on my pain and suffering.  Often, i will end up begging Her for mercy which usually pushes Her over the edge and brings about a quick and intense orgasm. 

At my request we no longer use a safeword, because for me to be satisfied with a scene, i need to know that i truly am completely at Her mercy and have absolutely NO control over what She chooses to do to me.  i trust Her completely and am truly and completely owned by Her, to be used for any purpose, or in any way She desires.  Although it may not be for every couple, it works perfectly for us. 

i get my satisfaction by helping bring my Queen to multiple orgasms.  i can't remember the last time She allowed me to cum, but it has been several months for sure.  On the other hand, there is rarely a day that goes by when my Queen doesn't cum multiple times.  As strange as it may seem to others, i LOVE that i am caged most of the time and almost never allowed to cum, while my Queen gets to cum as many times as She wants every day!  i consider it a great privilege and my duty to ensure that my beautiful Wife is completely satisfied, sexually.  That is what gets me off!

i LOVE when my Queen crawls up and lowers Her pussy onto my face!  She often does this, and i love the feeling of objectification i get as She grinds her pussy against my open mouth and tongue, using my entire face to get off.  i especially love it when She grabs my hair and pulls my face even tighter against Her sopping wet pussy as She violently grinds away until She cums.  i live for those moments!!

Sometimes She will get up to pee, and then crawl onto my face upon Her return to the bedroom, commanding me to lick her clean.  i absolutely LOVE when She does this!!  i love being used as Her toilet paper!  i also love when She doesn't completely empty Her bladder in the bathroom, and saves some pee for me to drink as She lowers Herself onto my open and waiting mouth.

  Lately, i have been fantasizing about being trained to be Her personal urinal.  The thought of Her using me in this way really turns me on!!  i guess it is the humiliation aspect of it that turns me on the most, because being used as someone's toilet is one of the lowest, most degrading things i can imagine.  Also, the thought of being required to drink Her pee by licking it up from a dog bowl on the floor, really turns me on!

  i'm sure these fantasies will come true eventually, as we continue this wonderful and exciting journey into our Wife Led Marriage.  She is a TRUE Dominant and Sadist, and i am a TRUE submissive and masochist.  How can it get any better than that?  ❤❤

i'm still here...

It's been awhile since i posted anything on my blog, but i'm still here serving my beautiful Wife and Queen to the best of my ability every day.  Our lives have been quite busy over the past few months, so finding the time, energy and motivation to blog has been challenging.   my Queen watches our 3 year-old grandson every weekday, and he also spends Sunday through Wednesday nights with us since our daughter and son-in-law live about 60 miles away.  Sometimes, he also stays Thursday night as well, and we take him home on Friday for the weekend.
Needless to say, our protocol has changed to accommodate having a very active 3 year-old living with us a good part of the time.  my Queen is exhausted at the end of the day and we are both ready to go to bed soon after he is in bed each night.

i have been working quite a bit on the weekends too, so our opportunity for open playtime has been limited.  However, despite all of these challenges,  our FLR is alive and well!  i help my Queen in caring for our grandson as much as i can when i am home, and with other things around the house as well.  She appreciates those things i do, and tells me so on a regular basis.  I love doing things to help Her, and i am still Her slave after all, but the way i serve Her has changed.  i do miss being required to be naked at all times while at home, and I miss sitting naked on the floor at Her feet every night and giving Her beautiful, sexy feet a lotion massage.  i miss spending an entire evening and night in chains...feeling them tight around my wrists and ankles as i go about my tasks.

Please don't think that i am complaining here because, although there are certain aspects of our FLR that have changed, there are many that are still in place on a daily basis, and i am very grateful for them!   i am grateful that my Queen keeps my cock caged nearly every day.  It is a constant reminder that i am owned, which i love!

 i am grateful  that my Queen always wears the key to my cock cage on Her necklace in plain sight.

 i am grateful that my Queen continues to subtly objectify me in front of her friends, or when we are in public.  i love the way she uses me as Her arm candy to make other women jealous! 

i am grateful that my Queen uses me on the weekends whenever possible to satisfy her sadistic needs.   She will tie me bent over the edge of our bed and use Her floggers, whips, canes, and other implements of pain and torture on me to get herself off.  Then she will fuck me with Her strap-on, mercilessly raping me as She jerks my head around by my hair. 

i am grateful that my Queen wakes me up in the wee hours of the morning because She is horny and needs to use me.

i am grateful that my Queen is proud to have me as Her husband and proud to own me as Her slave.   And, i am grateful to be Her husband and grateful to be owned by Her be Her slave!