Needing to be used, abused and degraded

Lately, i have been feeling the strong need to experience some heavy, extended use, consensual non-consensual abuse and degradation.  i have actually been craving it.  i know i will hate it while its happening to me, and i'll wonder what i was thinking when consenting to be used and tortured for an extended period of time like this.  But i "need" it.

If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that my beautiful, sexy Wife and Queen can be very sadistic at times.  That is one of the many, many things that i love about her, because She can be mean and sadistic enough to satisfy my masochistic desires.  She "gets off" on my pain and suffering!  She can cum just by flogging me, or torturing my nipples to the point that i'm crying for mercy.  i am very thankful that she can cum very quickly from that, because sometimes the pain She inflicts on me is almost unbearable.   She is AWESOME!!! 

I recently found this pic (posted below) that turned me on immensely!  It is of a girl on her knees, hands cuffed behind her, ankles cuffed and her neck chained to an eyebolt in the floor.  There is something about this scenario that has me craving to be chained like this for hours...or even days. 

I feel like there is some inner calling that drives this need... Maybe something from a past life... Something my soul needs to experience.  I need to be used and abused throughout the day or days on a fairly regular basis.  I need to be subjected to torture and pain and suffering.  i need to be degraded and humiliated.  i need to be marked and bruised by the time it is over.  But what i need most is to know that my Queen is getting off on all of my suffering.  That is my ultimate goal and reward.